I think it will be good at this point to take an interlude and have a look at a practical issue around leadership. This will be the first in a sub-series on practical leadership. The question is where to begin, with so many thoughts and opinions, I don't want to give you the latest fad.
I recently did a leadership training session at a local school and while working through the planned content I realized that we live in a society where people are not willing to have difficult, frank conversations and speak through difficult topics.
It amazes me that we look at others and see the flaws which for us are so obvious (I am not referring to preference) and will hold them back and stop them from reaching their own full potential and yet how often do we sit with them and speak to them about it? We see people making the same mistakes over and over and yet not say anything about it but let them go on making the same mistakes, running into the same wall and we sit back and let them do it.
Now I realize that sitting someone down and telling them that what they are doing is either wrong or unhelpful, is not always an easy thing, but here is the reality, if there was something that you were doing and it was limiting you, would you not want someone to tell you about it, would you not want to know that someone else was so invested in you that they were willing to have a difficult conversation with you? I know I would!
But there are some practical things to keep in mind if you are going to start taking leadership seriously enough to have these conversations with people:
i. Have a relationship that can handle hard conversation
You cannot just call someone into an office, sit them down and tell them that they are wrong - well you actually can, but you wont get the result you may be looking for. It is helpful to have built a relationship where the other person knows that you have an interest in them - not just what they do for you, but them as a person; their family, hobbies, life in general outside (and inside) the office.
ii. The right motive
The first point leads directly onto this one - if someone has been able to get to know you, then they will be sure of your motive and know that when you have these conversations that you are looking out for their best interest, they will not only listen to you, but hear you as well. A word of warning: be sure that your motive IS for their success! If you are only worried about the company, or your reputation as a manager/leader, you may still get the change that you are looking for, but you will get someone who will only do it when you are there and worse than this, you may even produce someone in your team who has it out for you and will never have your back or be on your side.
iii. Be tempered with grace
In your speaking and dealing, be sure that you speak with grace and compassion towards the person, knowing that you also don't have all together and that at some poinr you will (hopefully) be on the other side of the conversation.
With the last point in mind, I am well aware that as I write this, I don't always get it right; my speech is not always laced with compassion and my attitude and tone are not always gracious. But this is the beauty of taking this approach and having this attitude towards other, when there is grace for them, they will give you grace when you need it, and trust me - there will come a time when you need it.
I trust this is helpful, and as said before, please feel free to share, comment and ask questions (especially if there are some topics that you would like me to give some thoughts on).
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